Characters are yellow (Main characters: space, performers, lighting and costumes)
Purpose: To analyze the relationship between the characters
The purpose of this paragraph is to analyze the relationship between the space, performers, lighting and costumes in a performance.
OG Copy:
The space appears extremely large with how it is used and lit. Very little of the space is used at the beginning, only the performers and the chairs they are sitting in occupy space. They are arranged in a semicircle, open toward the audience. The lighting is bright enough so the performers and the area in front of them is visible, but dim enough so the area beyond them is completely dark. The costumes are modest suits and a hats, nothing to distinguish between genders, and they look like the outfits of a working middle class. An interesting contrast is made when considering the costumes, lighting and space together (it becomes more noticeable when the screen pans out). When standing, the black suits blend with the dark background and the performers become significantly less visible; however, when seated, kneeling or lying on the stage, their suits starkly contrast with the stage. For the first minute, there is only sitting and standing, except for the man on the end who is thrown on the floor at the end of each cycle. It is interesting that the only individual whose performance differs is placed on the end of stage; up until now the arrangement of the seats, the costumes, and lighting, had made the performance seem united and symmetrical. If there was a difference in performance it would seem that that individual would be placed somewhere that would continue this idea.
Rewrite:
Purpose: To analyze the relationship between the characters
The purpose of this paragraph is to analyze the relationship between the space, performers, lighting and costumes in a performance.
OG Copy:
The space appears extremely large with how it is used and lit. Very little of the space is used at the beginning, only the performers and the chairs they are sitting in occupy space. They are arranged in a semicircle, open toward the audience. The lighting is bright enough so the performers and the area in front of them is visible, but dim enough so the area beyond them is completely dark. The costumes are modest suits and a hats, nothing to distinguish between genders, and they look like the outfits of a working middle class. An interesting contrast is made when considering the costumes, lighting and space together (it becomes more noticeable when the screen pans out). When standing, the black suits blend with the dark background and the performers become significantly less visible; however, when seated, kneeling or lying on the stage, their suits starkly contrast with the stage. For the first minute, there is only sitting and standing, except for the man on the end who is thrown on the floor at the end of each cycle. It is interesting that the only individual whose performance differs is placed on the end of stage; up until now the arrangement of the seats, the costumes, and lighting, had made the performance seem united and symmetrical. If there was a difference in performance it would seem that that individual would be placed somewhere that would continue this idea.
Rewrite:
The lighting and space make
the stage appear much larger than it is. Initially, very little of the space is used. The space is occupied
only by the performers and their chairs. The performers
and the chairs are
arranged in a semicircle that is open to the audience. The lighting makes the performers visible to
the audience, but
nothing more. Their costumes are modest suits and
hats, have nothing to distinguish between genders and are representative of the
working middle class. The space, lighting and costumes are used to
create stark contrasts within the performance through color and movement. For
example, the performers’
black suits blend in with the dark background when they are standing but
when they are kneeling or lying down their figures are clearly distinguishable
from the white stage. Their
movements are limited to standing for the first minute, except for one
man on the edge of the semicircle. He is thrown on the floor at the end of each cycle. His movement breaks the
symmetry that had been observed in the space, lighting and costumes.
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