Wednesday, November 2, 2016

Paragraph style - Daniel Tannen



        Characters:

  1. induced hypothermia
  2. traumatic injury
  3. procedures/operations
         Purpose of the paragraph: The purpose of the paragraph is to explain induced hypothermia as a viable option to treat traumatic injury patients by referencing other medical success in using hypothermic states.  The type of description used is a combination of defining the procedure and then relating the description of the procedure to the other characters in a mixed string.

Yellow - nominalizations
Orange- characters


            Induced hypothermia is not necessarily a completely novel concept; types of hypothermic states are already used as common medical practice.  The use of induced hypothermia for traumatic injury patients is the new idea. A sort of hypothermic state called cryopreservation is used in the storage of hematopoietic stem cells prior to being reintroduced into the body.  This procedure is known as autologous bone-marrow rescue and serves to save healthy stem cells in patients that undergo chemotherapy.  The idea is to conserve healthy stem cells and reintroduce them back into the body after the person has undergone high-dose chemotherapy (“cryopreservation”).  In addition, transplanted organs are also cooled to near hypothermic conditions for transport (around 40 degrees Fahrenheit). Cooler temperatures keep the organs viable for periods of time that range from 4 to 72 hours, depending on the organ donated (“organ donation”).  Region specific cooling of the heart is also already used in heart surgeries and can be used to fix aortic aneurysms (“hypothermia”).  The success of these specific operations gives hope to the potential success of induced hypothermia and its introduction as medical commonplace for treatment of severe hemorrhaging.

REVISED PARAGRAPH:
Red - topics
Blue - stress
Traumatic injury patients are now the at the forefront of new induced hypothermia procedures. However, the concept of regional cooling is not novel; types of induced hypothermic states are already used as common medical practice. A common hypothermic state, cryopreservation, stores hematopoietic stem cells prior to being reintroduced into the body.  This procedure is known as autologous bone-marrow rescue and serves to save healthy stem cells in patients that undergo chemotherapy.  The idea is to conserve healthy stem cells and reintroduce them back into the body after the person has undergone high-dose chemotherapy (“cryopreservation”).  In addition, organ transplants are also cooled to near hypothermic conditions for transport (around 40 degrees Fahrenheit). Cooler temperatures keep the organs viable for periods of time that range from 4 to 72 hours, depending on the organ donated (“organ donation”).  Region specific cooling of the heart is also already used in heart surgeries and can be used to fix aortic aneurysms (“hypothermia”).  In order to introduce induced hypothermia as medical commonplace, researchers may look to the success of these other operations.

Topic sentence: The idea of induced hypothermia uses similar concepts from previously established medical procedures as grounds for its introduction as medical commonplace.

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