*Underline means possible character; highlighted means nominalizations
Purpose
The purpose of this paragraph is to discuss the immediate context leading up to the Birmingham Campaign. The Birmingham Campaign was a movement that allowed the voice of the black population in Birmingham, AL to be heard. The black population had been suppressed and beaten down for so many years that it was now their time to speak up and desegregate the city, using nonviolent tactics.
Old paragraph
The modern Civil Rights movement's starting point is the Montgomery bus boycott in 1955. Specifically in Birmingham, the climate leading up to the events in 1963 was a tense one and Birmingham was “probably the most thoroughly segregated city in the United States.” The city was amiss with police brutality, legal discrimination against blacks, racist signs in the windows of stores, and there were bombings of the homes and churches that black people resided and worshipped in. There were no black people in positions of power, including the police and fire department, and they could not hold jobs in retail, banks, stores, and public transportation. Black people were forced to work menial jobs in steel mills, households, or stay in their segregated neighborhood and work there and unemployment was a common tribulation they faced. These various stressors ultimately culminated in the Birmingham Campaign, and the goals for this protest were to focus on attainable desegregation goals. This included desegregation of shopping stores, fair employment standards, use of parks by black people, and a biracial committee to work on desegregating public schools. The campaign was protesting the centuries of discrimination they had been plagued with, as well as the strict segregation laws that affected every aspect of their lives in Birmingham. The specific moment in the process of the protest development that will be considered is the period of inception, which is when a sentiment of some sort becomes public when people become interested and involved. For this specific movement, the nonviolent protests were planned in advance before the inception date, which was April 3rd, 1963. The tactics used were organized lunch counter sit-ins, marches, kneel-ins by black people at white churches, and boycotts. The campaign was purposefully nonviolent because it was known that these protests would be met with violence, causing media attention to be focused on Birmingham.
New paragraph (includes revised existing first sentence)
For the black population in Birmingham, AL, the climate leading up to the events in 1963 was a tense one and the city was “probably the most thoroughly segregated city in the United States.” Birmingham was overrun with police brutality, legal discrimination against blacks, racist signs in the windows of stores, and there were bombings of the homes and churches that black people resided and worshipped in. Black people did not hold positions of power, such as in the police and fire department, and they could not hold jobs in retail, banks, stores, and public transportation. Black people were forced to work menial jobs in steel mills, households, or stay in their segregated neighborhood and work there and unemployment was a common tribulation they faced. The Birmingham Campaign was ultimately the result of these various stressors, and the goals for this protest were to focus on attainable desegregation goals. These goals included desegregation of shopping stores, fair employment standards, use of parks by black people, and a biracial committee to work on desegregating public schools. The Birmingham Campaign was protesting the centuries of discrimination black population had been plagued with, as well as the strict segregation laws that affected every aspect of their lives in Birmingham. The specific moment in the process of the protest development that will be considered is the period of inception, which is when a sentiment of some sort becomes public when people become interested and involved. For this specific movement, the nonviolent protests were planned in advance before the inception date, which was April 3rd, 1963. The nonviolent tactics were organized lunch counter sit-ins, marches, kneel-ins by black people at white churches, and boycotts. The Birmingham Campaign was purposefully nonviolent because it was known that these protests would be met with violence, causing media attention to be focused on Birmingham.
Possible characters:
1) Civil rights movement
2) Birmingham city
3) Police and fire department
4) Black people
5) Birmingham Campaign/movement
Characters that should be the real focus of the paragraph:
1) Birmingham city
2) Black people
3) Birmingham Campaign/movement
Topic Position Stress Position
In Birmingham, AL, the climate leading up to the events in 1963 was a tense one and the city was “probably the most thoroughly segregated city in the United States.”
Birmingham was overrun with police brutality, legal discrimination against blacks, racist signs in the windows of stores, and there were bombings of the homes and churches that black people resided and worshipped in.
Black people were forced to work menial jobs in steel mills, households, or stay in their segregated neighborhood and work there and unemployment was a common tribulation they faced.
The Birmingham Campaign was protesting the centuries of discrimination black population had been plagued with, as well as the strict segregation laws that affected every aspect of their lives in Birmingham.
Purpose
The purpose of this paragraph is to discuss the immediate context leading up to the Birmingham Campaign. The Birmingham Campaign was a movement that allowed the voice of the black population in Birmingham, AL to be heard. The black population had been suppressed and beaten down for so many years that it was now their time to speak up and desegregate the city, using nonviolent tactics.
Old paragraph
The modern Civil Rights movement's starting point is the Montgomery bus boycott in 1955. Specifically in Birmingham, the climate leading up to the events in 1963 was a tense one and Birmingham was “probably the most thoroughly segregated city in the United States.” The city was amiss with police brutality, legal discrimination against blacks, racist signs in the windows of stores, and there were bombings of the homes and churches that black people resided and worshipped in. There were no black people in positions of power, including the police and fire department, and they could not hold jobs in retail, banks, stores, and public transportation. Black people were forced to work menial jobs in steel mills, households, or stay in their segregated neighborhood and work there and unemployment was a common tribulation they faced. These various stressors ultimately culminated in the Birmingham Campaign, and the goals for this protest were to focus on attainable desegregation goals. This included desegregation of shopping stores, fair employment standards, use of parks by black people, and a biracial committee to work on desegregating public schools. The campaign was protesting the centuries of discrimination they had been plagued with, as well as the strict segregation laws that affected every aspect of their lives in Birmingham. The specific moment in the process of the protest development that will be considered is the period of inception, which is when a sentiment of some sort becomes public when people become interested and involved. For this specific movement, the nonviolent protests were planned in advance before the inception date, which was April 3rd, 1963. The tactics used were organized lunch counter sit-ins, marches, kneel-ins by black people at white churches, and boycotts. The campaign was purposefully nonviolent because it was known that these protests would be met with violence, causing media attention to be focused on Birmingham.
New paragraph (includes revised existing first sentence)
For the black population in Birmingham, AL, the climate leading up to the events in 1963 was a tense one and the city was “probably the most thoroughly segregated city in the United States.” Birmingham was overrun with police brutality, legal discrimination against blacks, racist signs in the windows of stores, and there were bombings of the homes and churches that black people resided and worshipped in. Black people did not hold positions of power, such as in the police and fire department, and they could not hold jobs in retail, banks, stores, and public transportation. Black people were forced to work menial jobs in steel mills, households, or stay in their segregated neighborhood and work there and unemployment was a common tribulation they faced. The Birmingham Campaign was ultimately the result of these various stressors, and the goals for this protest were to focus on attainable desegregation goals. These goals included desegregation of shopping stores, fair employment standards, use of parks by black people, and a biracial committee to work on desegregating public schools. The Birmingham Campaign was protesting the centuries of discrimination black population had been plagued with, as well as the strict segregation laws that affected every aspect of their lives in Birmingham. The specific moment in the process of the protest development that will be considered is the period of inception, which is when a sentiment of some sort becomes public when people become interested and involved. For this specific movement, the nonviolent protests were planned in advance before the inception date, which was April 3rd, 1963. The nonviolent tactics were organized lunch counter sit-ins, marches, kneel-ins by black people at white churches, and boycotts. The Birmingham Campaign was purposefully nonviolent because it was known that these protests would be met with violence, causing media attention to be focused on Birmingham.
Possible characters:
1) Civil rights movement
2) Birmingham city
3) Police and fire department
4) Black people
5) Birmingham Campaign/movement
Characters that should be the real focus of the paragraph:
1) Birmingham city
2) Black people
3) Birmingham Campaign/movement
Topic Position Stress Position
In Birmingham, AL, the climate leading up to the events in 1963 was a tense one and the city was “probably the most thoroughly segregated city in the United States.”
Birmingham was overrun with police brutality, legal discrimination against blacks, racist signs in the windows of stores, and there were bombings of the homes and churches that black people resided and worshipped in.
Black people were forced to work menial jobs in steel mills, households, or stay in their segregated neighborhood and work there and unemployment was a common tribulation they faced.
The Birmingham Campaign was protesting the centuries of discrimination black population had been plagued with, as well as the strict segregation laws that affected every aspect of their lives in Birmingham.
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