Paragraph Style

The purpose of the paragraph is to explain Emilia and her role as a feminist in Othello.

Women in history have been mistreated, undermined, and abused by sexist ideals. These misplaced beliefs are commonly reflected in literature. In Shakespeare’s, Othello, the issues between men and women are emphasized through their different thinking processes and their use of language. One woman in the play, Emilia, uses varying degrees of feminist and antifeminist rhetoric in order to establish herself as a powerful woman. She becomes a tragic hero, helping and hindering Iago in his scheming, supplying him with the handkerchief but then outing his plan to Othello after the death of Desdemona. Her strong love for Desdemona adds to her complex character by her conflict of wanting to help her friend while remaining a loyal wife. Emilia’s ever changing rhetoric throughout the play is a direct result of whom she is with at the time. Emilia uses her knowledge of the world and of language to establish strong relationships with multiple people, achieving a greater connection with those around her with each change in diction. Her knowledge of language and the world indicates her intelligence, even surpassing the intellect of the men in the play. In Carol Thomas Neely’s essay, Women and Men in Othello: “what should such a fool / Do with so good a women”, she emphasizes the contrast of the thinking between the women and the men in the play, separating their rationale into categories of clear and rash thinking. Emilia demonstrates clear thinking throughout the play when attempting to help her mistress, Desdemona, although she is sometimes blinded by the love for her husband. Her rational thinking surpasses that of the men’s, conveying the insightful intelligence of women, and therefore battles the sexist ideals that continue to plague the world today.

Rewritten:

Women in history have been mistreated, undermined, and abused by sexist ideals. These misplaced beliefs are commonly reflected in literature. In Shakespeare’s, Othello, the issues between men and women are emphasized through their different thinking processes and their use of language. Emilia, one of the main women of Othello, uses varying degrees of feminist and antifeminist rhetoric in order to establish herself as a powerful woman. She becomes a tragic hero, helping and hindering Iago in his scheming, supplying him with the handkerchief but then outing his plan to Othello after the death of Desdemona. Her strong love for Desdemona adds to her complex character by her conflict of wanting to help her friend while remaining a loyal wife. Emilia’s ever changing rhetoric throughout the play is a direct result of whom she is with at the time. Emilia uses her knowledge of the world and of language to establish strong relationships with multiple people, achieving a greater connection with those around her with each change in diction. Her knowledge of language and the world indicates her intelligence, even surpassing the intellect of the men in the play. In Carol Thomas Neely’s essay, Women and Men in Othello: “what should such a fool / Do with so good a women”, she emphasizes the contrast of the thinking between the women and the men in the play, separating their rationale into categories of clear and rash thinking. Emilia demonstrates clear thinking throughout the play when attempting to help her mistress, Desdemona, although she is sometimes blinded by the love for her husband. Her rational thinking surpasses that of the men’s, conveying the insightful intelligence of women, and therefore battles the sexist ideals that continue to plague the world today.

Topic Position	Stress Position
Women in history…	…have been mistreated, undermined, and abused by sexist ideals.
These misplaced beliefs…	…are commonly reflected in literature.
In Shakespeare’s, Othello…	…the issues between men and women are emphasized through their different thinking processes and their use of language.
Emilia, one of the main women of Othello…	…uses varying degrees of feminist and antifeminist rhetoric in order to establish herself as a powerful woman.
She becomes a tragic hero…	…helping and hindering Iago in his scheming, supplying him with the handkerchief but then outing his plan to Othello after the death of Desdemona.
Her strong love for Desdemona adds to her complex character…	… by her conflict of wanting to help her friend while remaining a loyal wife.
Emilia’s ever-changing rhetoric throughout the play…	…is a direct result of whom she is with at the time.
Emilia…	…uses her knowledge of the world and of language to establish strong relationships with multiple people, achieving a greater connection with those around her with each change in diction.
Her knowledge of language and the world…	… indicates her intelligence, even surpassing the intellect of the men in the play.
In Carol Thomas Neely’s essay, Women and Men in Othello: “what should such a fool / Do with so good a women”…	…she emphasizes the contrast of the thinking between the women and the men in the play, separating their rationale into categories of clear and rash thinking.
Emilia demonstrates clear thinking throughout the play when attempting to help her mistress, Desdemona…	… although she is sometimes blinded by the love for her husband.
Her rational thinking…	…surpasses that of the men’s, conveying the insightful intelligence of women, and therefore battles the sexist ideals that continue to plague the world today.

Revised first sentence:

Throughout history, women have been mistreated, undermined, and abused by bigoted sexist ideals.

Paragraph Style

 "It is also discussed that the “Mass Ornament” held a sort of detachment from the maker, since it was supposed to represent the whole of civilization and nature. Kracauer compares this to the idea of abstraction, and states that although there is a sort of separation between the creator and the actual piece of art, that it represents a sort of  ‘ornament’ of what the world should appear to be. There is a detachment from reason, which in many ways makes art during this time period not applicable to every member of society. Throughout, Kracauer pleas with his readers to use their intellectual and reasonable mind, and look through this idea of the “Mass Ornament”, and therefore understand what is really happening in their social and political world."

Zoe Meade Paragraph Style

Death is a driving and destructive force that permeates Hamlet, and affects all the play's characters. It is a theme that Shakespeare explores throughout Hamlet. It is terrifying, enigmatic, and inescapable. From the first scene the reader is introduced to a world in which the line between the living and the dead is often crossed. From the ghost of  King Hamlet, to Prince Hamlet himself, all the characters in the play feel the touch of death in some way, shape or form. But when a character dies, it’s not just their life that is destroyed. Often the killing off of a character leads to greater change in the State of Denmark, or the loss of something greater than just the characters themselves. For this reason, it is the death of the character Ophelia that is most striking. Ophelia's death is a catalyst between the Prince Hamlet and Laertes, forcing their anger to a head.  Additionally, there is finality in her death that isn’t so with the rest of the characters. Yet it is the innocence behind Ophelia’s character that makes her death so interesting and sad. She was a sweet and fair girl driven mad and brought to death’s door by the one she loved most, killing the last of the innocence left in Denmark’s royal court.  Ophelia’s death represents the death of innocence in the play, making her death one of the most important in Hamlet.


Main Character
Death

Main Purpose

Paragraph Styles

Characters are yellow (Main characters: space, performers, lighting and costumes)
Purpose: To analyze the relationship between the characters

The purpose of this paragraph is to analyze the relationship between the space, performers, lighting and costumes in a performance.

OG Copy:
The space appears extremely large with how it is used and lit. Very little of the space is used at the beginning, only the performers and the chairs they are sitting in occupy space. They are arranged in a semicircle, open toward the audience. The lighting is bright enough so the performers and the area in front of them is visible, but dim enough so the area beyond them is completely dark. The costumes are modest suits and a hats, nothing to distinguish between genders, and they look like the outfits of a working middle class. An interesting contrast is made when considering the costumes, lighting and space together (it becomes more noticeable when the screen pans out). When standing, the black suits blend with the dark background and the performers become significantly less visible; however, when seated, kneeling or lying on the stage, their suits starkly contrast with the stage. For the first minute, there is only sitting and standing, except for the man on the end who is thrown on the floor at the end of each cycle. It is interesting that the only individual whose performance differs is placed on the end of stage; up until now the arrangement of the seats, the costumes, and lighting, had made the performance seem united and symmetrical. If there was a difference in performance it would seem that that individual would be placed somewhere that would continue this idea.

Rewrite:

The lighting and space make the stage appear much larger than it is. Initially, very little of the space is used. The space is occupied only by the performers and their chairs. The performers and the chairs are arranged in a semicircle that is open to the audience. The lighting makes the performers visible to the audience, but nothing more. Their costumes are modest suits and hats, have nothing to distinguish between genders and are representative of the working middle class. The space, lighting and costumes are used to create stark contrasts within the performance through color and movement. For example, the performers’ black suits blend in with the dark background when they are standing but when they are kneeling or lying down their figures are clearly distinguishable from the white stage. Their movements are limited to standing for the first minute, except for one man on the edge of the semicircle. He is thrown on the floor at the end of each cycle. His movement breaks the symmetry that had been observed in the space, lighting and costumes.

Paragraph Style

Original Paragraph:

Patterns in ant behavior have been analyzed to correlate their behavior with variables involving the Central Nervous System of each ant. A study was conducted on Camponotus mus ants to indicate changes in the microglomerular structures in the mushroom bodies (MBs) with fluctuating temperature as a variable. The ants move their brood daily between locations that vary in temperature over a consistent timescale (1). This behavior was initially researched to evaluate its necessity in terms of survival, but the ants were still alive and functional when the pupa stage was immersed in different temperature environments (that weren’t extreme heat or cold) (1). A question was posed about what neuronal changes occur from being exposed to varying temperatures. This is where the change in mushroom bodies was observed. Other locations in the Camponotus CNS remained relatively constant, but there was an increase in the amount of microglomeruli (MG)/ synaptic connections in the mushroom bodies (2). There hasn’t been any research done to evaluate the behavior differences when MG differences were induced from the temperature. However, temperature experiments were tested in honeybees to evaluate their behavior and foraging habits. This study found that an optimal temperature correlated with more dancing and a younger age to begin foraging (3). Ultimately, optimal temperature fluctuation increases the amount microglomeruli and synaptic connections in the mushroom bodies of ants to possibly improve behavioral function.

Revised Paragraph(s):

Patterns in ant behavior were correlated with variables predicted to influence the central nervous system of ants. These patterns, including foraging, were studied with Camponotus mus (an ant species) to evaluate the effect of temperature being a variable on ant CNS structures. These structures, specifically mushroom bodies regions (MBs), have shown an increase in microglomerular structures and its connections when there is optimal temperature fluctuation in the brood development. The brood are moved daily between locations that vary in temperature over a consistent timeframe, but researchers were unsure about the necessity of this behavior for survival (1). These researchers studied the survival of ants if the brood were in different temperature conditions (that weren’t extremely high temperatures or extremely cold temperatures) and found the brood survived the different temperature conditions (1).

Though the temperature conditions did not induce any macro-scale differences compared to the control, researchers questioned and studied the possibility of neuronal changes occurring with the different temperature conditions. Studies gave the answer that the Mushroom Bodies were affected. The MBs showed an increase in the number of microglomeruli, but the rest of the central nervous system in the Camponotus remained constant. The MBs, or any other neural system, haven’t been studied yet for the effectiveness of the neural connections....